Reducing Emotional Dysregulation in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Emotional dysregulation, specifically hyper-arousal — the feeling you get when your nervous system is in overdrive — is something we can all relate to. You know that feeling of anxiety, fear, panic, overwhelm, or worry? The racing thoughts, the urge to run away, feeling like your heart might burst out of your chest, feeling like you will lose control, and even feeling like you might die or pass out? We all experience this at different frequencies and intensities. Whether it happens multiple times a day or once a year, it is undeniable that it happens to all of us.

When stress is high, regulating a dysregulated nervous system can seem like a daunting and impossible task. That’s understandable. Emotional regulation is best managed through our lifestyle, such as eating well, exercising, drinking water, taking our prescribed medication, avoiding mood altering substances, going to therapy, and surrounding ourselves with the people who make us feel loved and valued. However, sometimes we need relief fast. Thankfully, there are tools for calming a dysregulated nervous system in the moment. Taking small steps towards emotional regulation can be as simple as 1-2-3 — literally!

Your breath is the most powerful tool in emotional regulation. Conveniently, your breath is always available to you. Wherever you are, finding your breath is your first line of defence when you feel your anxiety climbing. The sooner you notice it, the sooner you can apply breathing techniques to regulate your nervous system.

Combining breath work with the 5-4-3-2-1 tool is my favourite go-to emotional regulation exercise that I use with my clients. It combines the calming effects of mindful breathing with the grounding effects of anchoring our bodies and minds into the here and now. This exercise uses all of our senses to bring us back into the moment, practicing intentional presence, and to stop our thoughts from racing. 

First, find a comfortable position. You can be standing, seated, or lying down. Posture yourself with an elongated spine and an open chest, ensuring an open airway. Your eyes can be open or closed. Take several deep, slow, intentional breaths. Follow your own rhythm. Breathe in as deeply as what feels comfortable, feeling your lungs expand and the air filling your body. You may choose to hold this breath for a moment, or you may not. Slowly breathe all the way out. Repeat this a minimum of three times, focusing all of your attention on your breath. 

If your eyes were closed, open them and reorient yourself to your surroundings. Then, notice and name the following:

5 things you can see

4 things you can feel 

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

Naming 5 things you can see

This can be anything in your eyesight. Try to look all around you and name things from multiple spots in your surroundings rather than focusing only on one spot.

Naming 4 things you can feel

This can be any physical sensation. It can be a feeling you have in your body, such as muscle tension, hunger, or your heartbeat, or it can be something external, such as your clothes on your skin, the chair under you, or the chill of the air conditioner. If you are unsure, you can intentionally touch objects in your surroundings or something on your body, such as your clothes, your hair, or your skin.

Naming 3 things you can hear

This one can be somewhat more challenging. If you struggle to name 3 things you can hear, listen closely. Ambient sound is all around us. Listen for your breath, the hum of your laptop, the wind blowing, voices in the background, or traffic. You can create sound by snapping, speaking, or tapping your fingers. 

Naming 2 things you can smell

This one can be even more challenging. If there are no big and obvious smells in your surrounding, be creative. Notice if the air smells fresh or stale. Notice if you can smell the hand soap or the shampoo you may have used earlier. If you have an old tea mug in front of you, see if there is any lingering tea smell in there. You can even sniff the palms of your hands, noticing the natural and subtle smell of your skin. Or, if no one is looking, you could check to see how well your deodorant is holding up! If you can’t find two things you can smell, instead, name two smells you enjoy and imagine that you can smell them.

Naming 1 thing you can taste

This one can be the most challenging. Almost everyone answers this with “nothing.” Before you answer this way, pay close attention. Is there truly no taste in your mouth? Or is there perhaps the lingering taste of something you ate earlier? The coffee you had this morning? Your toothpaste? Perhaps your mouth tastes dry or sour? This is also a perfect opportunity to have a sip of water or of the hot beverage in front of you that you may have forgotten about. If you cannot name anything you can taste, name instead one taste you enjoy and imagine that you can taste it.

This exercise is quick, easy, and accessible. Here are some helpful hints in case you get stuck.

If you can’t remember how many things you’re supposed to name for each sense, ask yourself which senses are currently giving you the most input. At any given moment, you can probably see more things than you can feel, feel more things than you can hear, and hear more things than you can smell. If you end up naming more things than what the exercise calls for, that’s okay.

If you have impairments in any of these senses, focus instead on the other senses. If you have no sense of smell, for example, perhaps you can name three things you can taste instead of one, or perhaps you can name two more things that you can feel.

This exercise is incredibly effective in reducing some of the physical sensations of emotional distress. It is a quick and easy way to reduce your anxiety, calm your heart rate, and slow down your mind. While it may not get you all the way there, it can reliably reduce your physiological distress enough to allow you to think clearly and make a plan for further emotional regulation. It is helpful to think of this tool as emotional first-aid. 

If this exercise does not work for you, that’s okay! There are plenty more you can try. However, I hope you will give this exercise a chance. Even if you are only marginally able to reduce your feelings of emotional dysregulation, hopefully this will show you how much control you have in an experience that can make you feel powerless.